The Transference of Energy

Or, more appropriately, how people suck it right out of me!

I was in a bad, ugly, stinky mood yesterday. I'll admit it. I was. External forces had me feeling angry, angsty, antsy, and a whole lot of other "a's". I will also admit I spent most of the ride to work pretending I had a Blue Tooth...so I could talk to myself as I drove.

Hey...whatever helps you work through it.

I pulled into my usual spot, put it in park, listened to one last verse of Moon Over Bourbon Street, took a deep breath...& left it in the car. "It" being the majority of the mood. Walking in, I was greeted with the usual choruses of "Good Mornings", the emphasis on "good", & the usual morning banter. To which I promptly responded with a caveat of the fact that I would NOT be smiling today. (Well, yesterday...oh, you get the point.)

Well now, THAT didn't go over well. At all. In fact, it just started a little competition to see who could make me smile first. Of course, I was having none of it & went about my business of trying to find the desk that I left all organized & clear under the chaos that had erupted in my absence. A lot can be piled up in a mere 16 hours, let me tell you! (Which helped my mood immensely!)

To me, work is work. I check my personal life at the door & do my job. (And do it well.) And, quite frankly, if I wanted people in my business, I'd direct them to my blogs! :)

So, I sat, & industriously made my way through the piles. And piles. And piles. Nothing I like better than making order out of chaos. Good thing.

But, my "just doing my job" didn't go over well. Nope.

It seems not only does the entire place rely on the Admin skills I bring, I am also in charge of morale! Think Julie from the Love Boat. Cruise Director. In charge of activities. And fun! (Odd, my High School friends had brought up that very point when describing me during one of our now infamous reunions.)

The entire atmosphere became subdued. And somber. All because I wasn't my usual playful self.

Don't get me wrong...I was just being reserved. I don't take my grumpies out on people I work with. I was just doing my job with a bit less spunk & energy. And apparently bringing everybody down in the process.

It was like no one could be light-hearted if I wasn't. Not out of respect (like, as if my goldfish had died), but because no one was leading them in the frivolity. Everyone else just sort of sat at their desks & worked...in silence. No off color jokes, no teasing, no golf stories. Just...work. I imagine that because I was in a snit yesterday, a lot got accomplished!

And, I doubt anyone really noticed how they were reacting to my funk. But I did. And it sort of bothered me. For a couple reasons.

First, it is amazing how people react to the energy around them. Bring in a positive aura & less aware people respond in an equal & positive manner. And vice versa, as happened yesterday. And they are totally unaware of it.

Second, and a little annoying, is the fact that I seem to have the dominant aura around the place & I now find myself in the position of "keeper of morale." (Not that that's necessarily a bad thing...imagine the power...call me "Aura Girl"!) It's just one more responsibility I didn't really want. Kind of like always having to plan what's for dinner.

Third, no wonder I feel drained at the end of the day. People are relying on me for their feel good mood. I mean, not completely. I know I'm not all powerful...a lot goes into how anyone feels on any given day. I just now realize that I have a bit of an effect on things.

Brings a whole new meaning to "Put on a Happy Face"!